on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
