were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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