I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
