i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
