How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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