Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
