Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
