i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
