I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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