she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
