I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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