so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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