We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
