Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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