this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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