The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
