Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
