you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
