I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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