I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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