I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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