He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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