so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
