I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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