I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wear drunk well.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
