i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
