barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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