I accidentally burped into my bong.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
