at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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