3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
