just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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