He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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