My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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