this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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