and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
