I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
