idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
