Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
