sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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