He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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