your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
