I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
