He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
