Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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