Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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