My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
