$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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