Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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