the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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