i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
