I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
