fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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