thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
