he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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