remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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